Eulogy vs Obituary. What Is the Difference and Do You Need Both?

A eulogy is a speech you give at a funeral. An obituary is a written notice that announces a death and summarises a life. They serve different purposes, they are written in different voices, and they go to different audiences. Most families need both, and it helps to understand the difference before you sit down to write either one.

This is one of those questions people feel embarrassed to ask, but there is no reason to. The two words get mixed up all the time, and the line between them is not always obvious.

Table of Contents

• What is a eulogy?
• What is an obituary?
• What is the actual difference?
• Do you need both?
• Frequently Asked Questions

What is a eulogy?

A eulogy is a speech given at a funeral or memorial service by someone who knew the person. Usually a family member or close friend. It is personal, emotional, and built around stories and memories. Its job is to make the room feel something.

A eulogy sounds like this:

"Dad had one piece of advice for everything. Job interview, first date, leaking roof, broken heart. He would look at you steadily and say: just get on with it. It sounds blunt. It wasn't. Coming from him, it was the most reassuring sentence in the world."

And this:

"She never left the house without lipstick. Even if she was just going to the shop for milk. She said it was about self-respect. We said it was about bumping into Margaret from next door. She did not deny it."

A eulogy is spoken aloud, usually lasts five to seven minutes, and is written in the first person. It does not need to cover the whole life. It needs to capture who the person was in a way that makes the room nod, smile, and feel their presence again.

What is an obituary?

An obituary is a written notice, published in a newspaper, online, or shared with a funeral home. It announces the death and gives a summary of the person's life. It is factual, brief, and written in the third person.

An obituary typically includes:

• Full name and any names they were known by
• Date and place of birth and date of death
• Family members they are survived by
• Education and career highlights
• Interests and community involvement
• Funeral or memorial service details (date, time, location)
• Where to send donations or flowers if applicable

An obituary sounds like this:

"Margaret Anne Collins, 78, of Exeter, passed away peacefully on 12 March 2026. Born in Bristol to Edward and Dorothy Hughes, she trained as a nurse at the Royal Infirmary before raising four children with her husband Peter. She is survived by her children Claire, James, Sarah, and Tom, and seven grandchildren. A funeral service will be held at St Michael's Church on 20 March at 11am."

It is respectful but measured. It tells you the facts. It does not try to make you cry or laugh. It is the public record. The eulogy is the private one.

What is the actual difference?

The simplest way to think about it:

An obituary tells people what happened. A eulogy tells people who this person was.

An obituary is written for everyone, including people who may not have known them well. It goes in the paper or online. It answers the basic questions: when, where, who.

A eulogy is written for the room. The people who are there, who came because they loved this person. It answers a different question: what was it like to know them?

"The obituary said he was a retired engineer who enjoyed gardening. The eulogy said he once spent three weekends building a pond that immediately leaked, refused to admit it was leaking, and told everyone the water level was 'meant to do that.' That is the difference."

You can write an obituary without ever having met the person. You cannot write a eulogy that way. A eulogy requires memory, feeling, and the willingness to stand up and say something true in front of people who are grieving. That is what makes it harder, and what makes it matter more.

Do you need both?

Usually, yes. The obituary handles the practical side: notifying people, sharing funeral details, creating a public record. The eulogy handles the emotional side: honouring who they were in a way that gives the room something to hold onto.

Some families skip the obituary, especially if the death is private or the funeral is small. Some families skip the eulogy if nobody feels able to speak. Neither choice is wrong.

But if you can manage both, they work together. The obituary tells the world that this person lived. The eulogy tells the people who loved them what that life felt like from the inside.

If you are here because you need to write a eulogy and you are not sure where to start, EulogyCraft can help. You share your memories, and we shape them into three complete eulogies you can read, edit, or combine.

Frequently Asked Questions

Who writes the obituary?

Usually a family member, sometimes with help from the funeral home. Many funeral homes will draft one for you based on details you provide. You can also write it yourself. There is no rule about who does it.

Can I use parts of the obituary in the eulogy?

You can, but be careful. Obituary facts (dates, career, family names) are useful as brief context, but a eulogy that reads like an obituary will feel flat. Use the facts sparingly and spend most of your time on stories and memories.

How long should an obituary be?

Most obituaries are 150 to 300 words. Newspapers often charge by the word, so shorter is common. Online obituaries can be longer, but even then, a few clear paragraphs is usually enough.

Do I need to publish an obituary in a newspaper?

No. Many families now share obituaries online, through funeral home websites, social media, or memorial pages. A newspaper listing is traditional but not required.

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Written by Karel, founder of EulogyCraft and Gentle Tributes. Karel has helped families find the right words for over ten years.