Choosing Readings for a Funeral. How to Pick Something That Actually Fits

The best funeral reading is one that sounds like it could have been written about this specific person. Not a famous poem that sounds nice in general, but something that makes the room think: yes, that is exactly right. If you are struggling to choose, start with who they were, not with a list of popular readings.

Most people search for funeral readings online and end up scrolling through the same twenty poems. There is nothing wrong with those poems. But a reading that is chosen because it fits the person will always land harder than one chosen because it appeared on a list.

Table of Contents

• How do you choose the right reading?
• What kind of readings work at a funeral?
• What should you avoid?
• What if nothing feels right?
• Frequently Asked Questions

How do you choose the right reading?

Start with the person, not the reading. Ask yourself a few questions:

• Were they religious, spiritual, or neither?
• Were they serious or did they have a sense of humour?
• Did they have a favourite book, song, film, or writer?
• What kind of language would they have used themselves? Plain and direct, or more reflective?
• Would they have wanted something that makes people cry, or something that makes people smile?

The answers will narrow your options very quickly. A man who spent his life making people laugh probably does not want a solemn Victorian poem read over him. A woman who was deeply private might not suit a reading that is emotionally dramatic. Match the reading to the person, not to the occasion.

"Dad hated fuss. He would have been horrified by anything too serious. So instead of a poem, we read out a passage from his favourite book about fishing. It was about patience and sitting still and not needing to talk. Half the room laughed because it was so perfectly him. That felt right."

"Mum loved Mary Oliver. She had a copy of her poems on the bedside table for years. We didn't need to search for a reading. It was already there, waiting. She'd underlined her favourite one. It felt like she'd chosen it herself."

What kind of readings work at a funeral?

More things than you might think. A reading does not have to be a poem. It can be:

• A passage from a book they loved
• A few lines from a song that meant something to them or to your family
• A prayer or scripture passage if they were religious
• A short piece of writing by someone they admired
• Something a family member has written specifically for the occasion
• A passage from a letter or card they once wrote

The only real test is: does it feel like it belongs at this person's funeral? If you can imagine them hearing it and nodding, or rolling their eyes affectionately, or being quietly moved, then it is the right choice.

"We read a paragraph from a letter Grandad wrote to Grandma during the war. It was simple and plain and full of love in the way he always was. Nothing fancy. Just a man telling a woman he missed her and would be home soon. There was not a dry eye in the room."

"My sister's favourite film was The Shawshank Redemption. We read the last few lines from the voiceover. It is about hope. It sounds nothing like a funeral reading, and that is exactly why it worked. It sounded like her."

What should you avoid?

Avoid choosing something only because it is popular. "Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep" and "Funeral Blues" are beautiful poems, but if they have no connection to the person, they can feel like filler. The room can tell the difference between a reading that was chosen with care and one that was found in a hurry.

Avoid anything that is too long. A reading at a funeral should take one to two minutes at most. Anything longer starts to feel like a performance rather than a tribute. If you love a long poem, choose the verse that fits best and read just that.

Avoid choosing something that only you understand. The reading is for the room, not just for you. If it requires background knowledge or context that the audience does not have, it will not land the way you want it to.

"I almost read a passage from a book only she and I had shared. Then I realised nobody else in the room would know why it mattered. So I chose something simpler that everyone could feel. I kept the other passage for myself."

What if nothing feels right?

That is more common than you think. Sometimes no poem or passage seems to match the person, and that is fine. You have other options.

You can skip the reading entirely. Not every funeral needs one. If the eulogy and the music say enough, a reading can feel like an extra step that adds length without adding meaning.

You can write something yourself. A few honest sentences from someone who loved them will always mean more than a borrowed poem that does not quite fit. It does not need to be polished. It needs to be true.

You can also ask someone who knew them well. A friend, a sibling, a colleague. Sometimes they will remember something the person said or loved that gives you exactly what you need.

If you are also writing the eulogy and feeling overwhelmed by all the choices, EulogyCraft can help with that part. You share your memories and we shape them into three complete eulogies. That frees you up to focus on the reading, the music, and the rest of the day.

Frequently Asked Questions

How many readings should there be at a funeral?

One or two is standard. More than that and the service can start to feel long. If several people want to contribute, it is better for each person to read something short than to have four full-length readings back to back.

Can a child read a poem at a funeral?

Yes, if they want to and feel able. Give them something short and practise it with them beforehand. Having an adult standing with them in case they need help is a good idea. It can be a very moving moment if the child is comfortable.

Is it okay to use a song lyric as a reading?

Yes. If a song meant something to them or to your family, reading the words aloud can be very powerful. Just make sure the words work on their own without the music. Some lyrics read beautifully. Others need the melody to make sense.